Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Elmira Confidential: Issue 05.06.09

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7 comments:

  1. Potential uses for the Star-Gazette building in Elmira:

    1. George Winner could use it to store his ego.

    2. Yet another Dollar General store. Or a Subway. Why does Elmira have 15 Dollar Generals and 23 Subways?

    3. Two words: skate park. Or is that one word: skatepark? Either way.

    4. Turn it into the Tom Page Memorial Rest Home for Tired Journalists.

    5. Or, someone could use the place to put out a local newspaper. What an idea!

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  2. As big as the building is, I don't think George's ego would fit.

    A local newspaper? - that is a unique idea!

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  3. Or maybe, use it to store unsold papers that are return from the stands! The paper sucks and so does the management. Screw Gannett!

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  4. Potential uses for the Elmira Star Gazette Building:

    1. Bulldoze it over and make it a Rite Aid

    2. The fire dept could use it for practice.

    3. Film episdoes of Paranormal State there, plenty of lost souls.

    4. Bulldoze it over and make it a Walgreens.

    5. Make it into a parking lot for M and M red Hots.

    6. Film episodes of Ax Men plenty of job chopping there and plenty of trees met their senseless death.

    7. Bulldoze it over and make it a Dandy Mini Mart

    8. Film a documentary of " How Not to Run a Newspaper" there.

    9. Leave it there as a good thing to point and laugh at.

    10. Lease out tours to area schools for "scared straight" programs. To see where you work if they don't stay in school.

    11. Bulldoze it over and turn it into another one way street.

    12. Vacate it completely so it fits in with all the rest of vacant obsolete commercial real estate in downtown Elmira.

    13. Sell the paper and building to Simmons-Rockwell so they can fill the paper with fullpages for free and sell cars in the parking lot.

    14. Same as 13 but to Williams.

    15. Become a warehouse for stupid ideas of John Tonello.

    16. It'll make for a long running real estate ad, because of it's uselessness.

    17. Become a warehouse for stupid ideas of David Paterson.

    18. Become a warehouse for stupid ideas of Barack Obama.

    19. Continue as only a place for the local brain dead Assitant Editor to store all the ass he kisses.

    20. Production plant for newspapers that burns well in wake of the absurd NYSEG rates.


    Thats 20 but just a few ideas.....

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  5. WHERE AND WHAT THE F IS ELMIRA? Does it really matter? What does it contribute to Gannett net income...< 1%?

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  6. Hey 10:43 if you knew your history you would know that Elmira is where the Gannett Company began!

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  7. And yes, it contributes. It loses its arms and its legs to make up for when the metros have a bad month.

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