[Martore, Burns]
To: G. Martore, chief financial officer
FROM: C. Montgomery Burns, loyal employee
DATE: Jan. 28, 2009
RE: "Project 4:20" Surveillance Update
1. Don't worry about drug- and alcohol-related crowd control problems at upcoming Gannett Blog Millionth Visit Rave. We have learned Thurston and Lovey Howell put that innocent Kansas farm girl Mary Ann in charge of libations. (Still don't know why Mary Ann picked that mysterious "Project 4:20" code name for big event, though.)
2. We also have confirmed that Hopkins' blog has actually already passed the one-millionth visit mark, according to two of his three web analytics tracking services. Hopkins is waiting for this third report because he tries to be cautious with data.
I'm trying to earn $6,000 quarterly, mostly through sponsorships of $5 per reader, plus limited ad sales. Please use the "Donate" tool in the green sidebar, upper right. Or mail cash/checks payable to: Jim Hopkins, 584 Castro St. #823, San Francisco, Calif., 94114-2594.
Um, I think the wholesome single woman on Gilligan's Island was Mary Ann Summers.
ReplyDeleteActually, "Mary Ann" probably isn't the best representative of wholesomeness for the party. In fact, she may not be able to make it to the festivities. She was arrested Oct. 18 while driving home from a surprise birthday party that had been held for her. According to police reports, Wells was swerving and speeding up and slowing down. She's still serving six months' probation after being caught with marijuana in her car.
ReplyDeleteAha!
ReplyDeleteNow I get the 4:20 reference!
Sometimes I am so uncool ...