To: G. Martore
FROM: C. Montgomery Burns
RE: Another excellent idea from a loyal employee
Let's turn Christmas into a Gannett loyalty test. How? Offer Corporate staff three choices for a company-paid holiday gift:
- Bart Simpson Chia pet: $17.99
- Contribution to the Gracia Martore Endowed Chair in the Ethics of Philanthropy at Wellesley College: $1,000
- Gannett Blog quarterly subscription: $5
P.S.: After all you've sacrificed for this wonderful company, I am shocked -- shocked! -- that the Gannett Foundation refuses to pay for all the X-mas gifts you told me to buy for your family at Tysons Galleria mall. How in the name of double-digit profit margins is that "not investing in the future of the communities in which Gannett does business?" Is the mall not a Gannett community???!!!
Stop Burns now!
I'm trying to earn $6,000 quarterly, through advertising and voluntary subscriptions of $5 per reader. With just 23 days left in the current quarter, I've raised $3,947 -- 66% of my goal. The breakdown:
- Advertising: $1,142
- Subscriptions: $2,805