Like rubbernecking past a car wreck, I can't resist octogenarian retired CEO Al Neuharth's weekly column, every Friday in USA Today.
Holy frying collagen! It's been nearly two whole months since I challenged the 84-year-old mogul in Cocoa Beach, Fla., to compete with me in the newly revived Gerald R. Ford Pro-Am Summer Biathlon International Tanning Competition. (I was inspired, of course, by Doonesbury character Zonker Harris, and his idol, George Hamilton.) So far, it's looking like a slam dunk: That barrel of iodine-infused baby oil I laid in virtually guarantees that, on Labor Day Weekend, I'll walk home with the prized Hawaiian Tropic George Hamilton-Christina Aguilera Grand Prix du Festival Cup. So, exciting!
Now, about this morning's column . . .
Neuharth's going green: He's recycling! The topic is recessions -- again! Maybe it's time to put this one on a save-get key? Here's what he wrote in mid-January vs. what he wrote today:
The headlines
Jan. 18: 'Recession' or not, 'belt-tightening' time
Today: Don't put any money under your bed now
On recession cycles . . .
Jan. 18: "It happens every five years or so. A 'recession.' We've officially had nine since 1953." And: "No matter what it's called, or when, times are a little tough now."
Today: "Times really are tough. The stock market sucks. Some banks are struggling. Even Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac are messed up. So what should you do? First, recognize we're in a recession. It happens every five to 10 years, last time in 2001."
On the 1929 Depression . . .
Jan. 18: "In my 83 years, I've lived through a dozen recessions and the Great Depression of 1929-33."
Today: "Anyone who ever lived during a depression can take recessions in stride. I had the good luck of experiencing the Great Depression of 1929-33."
On his mom, the Prairie house . . .
Jan. 18: "My widowed mother sold the house my dad had built before he died. She got $1,700 for it and downgraded by buying a smaller one for $1,000. She took some of the leftover money to buy a used sewing machine to do repair work on laundry she took in to help pay for groceries and other necessities."
Today: "During the depression, the few dollars a week my mom had made doing laundry for others dried up. She could get no job. So she finally sold her house for $1,700 and bought a smaller one for $1,000."
Earlier: Neuharth says plunging stock prices can be fun!
Jim STOP that! Haven't you heard of skin cancer? Slap on the sun screen, get a big floppy hat, and head for the shade. Remember your Gannett health insurance will be going away soon!
ReplyDelete@7:54 a.m. LOL! That reflector is a prop. Sparky and I limit our sun exposure by waiting until 4 p.m. to go to the beach. Plus, we often sit under an umbrella.
ReplyDeleteSay one thing for Mr. Neuharth: The sumbitch can pen a relevant column.
ReplyDeleteI had no idea we were in a recession until now.
Wonder how many people can afford even a sewing machine like his Mama's, let alone stocks and homes, when they're strapped with COBRA costs and medical co-pays?
ReplyDelete"My widowed mother sold the house my dad had built before he died."
ReplyDeleteAre the copy editors not allowed to edit him? I mean, who builds a house after dying? Crikey.