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| Outraged bride |
Word for word, here's the rest of the pitch:
"This elegant, state-of-the art building affords the perfect space and amenities to meet all your needs. In addition, free parking is plentiful. Our catering staff is among the most creative and talented in the metropolitan area and our sales event representatives are seasoned professionals. Available space includes eight conference rooms and a state-of-the-art auditorium which seats 290. Our fine dining space includes six dining rooms, the largest of which seats 200."
But Corporate says there's one big limitation: "Our facility is not available for weddings."
Speaking of the light-filled atrium lobby, are Corporate and USA Today holding a Christmas/holiday party this year?
ReplyDeleteAnyone caught touching the big blue ball will be summarily executed.
ReplyDeleteWe're in D.C.
We know people.
I'm booking it for my annual festivus celebration.
ReplyDeleteWHAT? No weddings?!
ReplyDeleteThat would be the biggest revenue generator of all!
That's where the money is these days, because many brides spare no expense in making their day the most memorable ever.
And in that high-end area of the US, there's lots of disposable income.
What idiots!
Listen up corporate: retrofit a vacated office near the water line for a "green" (bride's) room, change your verbiage and increase your profit. The main thing you'll need is a wall of mirrors and soft lights.
I should be running this company...but I'd need a frontal lobotomy first.
SIX dining rooms?
ReplyDeleteIsn't that five more than every other newspaper and TV station?
What decaDENSE.
No wonder we're circling the drain.
Anybody happen to point out that the reason these events are usually held at hotels is because, uh, they're hotels? Nobody's going to want to slink off for a rendezvous at the fantasy editor's desk....
ReplyDelete12:45, you have a personal dining room. Just shift your keyboard over and please bus your own tray.
Is it available for civil commitment ceremonies?
ReplyDeleteWhat about funerals? I hear that the newspaper industry is dying. Could be a fitting venue.
ReplyDelete1:14 p.m., thanks for the laugh-out-loud!
ReplyDeleteAnd 12:53 is spot on. Who has time to eat supper in a dining room, or six? I usually just eat a banana at my desk, if I have time to peel it.
Who'd want to get married there? The bad karma throughout the building would doom a marriage.
ReplyDeleteWho in the world came up with this idea? Anyone know?
ReplyDeleteI'd rather party in jail than there.
Jim:
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting that the Google software picks up on your posts, and that the page is now covered with wedding and catering websites which likely have pretty high click charges.
If you ran a story about lawyers eating asbestos, you'd probably see the same.
In fact, but just including the words asbestos and lawyer in my post, I am sure that we will see some of those leads. And you will reap the benefits along with the DOMINATOR.
Google at its finest.
3:23,
ReplyDeleteNow there's a good idea. Lawyers eating asbestos. To paraphrase Dickens, "it will get rid of the world's surplus population."
Just seven minutes since 3:23's post, and I have Groupon in the lead banner, Jimmy John's Catering display on the side and asbestos attorneys in the text ads.
ReplyDeleteNo wonder we're all getting laid off... that's a pretty powerful tool.
Is this the transformation Hunke was talking about?
ReplyDeletewhich Gannett male and Gannett female would you most like to see announce that their wedding reception will be held in the Crystal Palace?
ReplyDeleteOh, this is hilarious - they're getting desperate now. I'm putting my bet on Martore for this *brilliant* idea. I say concerts and events are next. As you let the crowds in, just make sure you do something about those slippery marble hall floors!
ReplyDeleteOnce you check in at the security desk, you can go almost anywhere. There aren't card swipes at the elevators or stairwell entrances. Any guest could sneak up to the newsrooms or wherever else because no employee will be "chaperoning" these guests. This seems like a really bad idea because it does nothing to protect information or employees.
ReplyDeleteSt Cloud Times to Lease out back room. $5.00 a square foot adjusted gross.
ReplyDelete26' to 28' foot ceilings, Rail siding inside the building, Immediate Occupancy, may sub divide the space, Tenant pays utility cost, 7500 square feet available. Total cost per month. 37500 a month that is what the Sunday circulation is. http://granitecityproperties.com/index.php/maps/commercial-real-estate/industrial?start=15
Hey, chowderheads, this is old news. Corporate has been leasing out conference rooms and the auditorium for years to all kinds of groups -- Chamber of Commerce, local school districts, various associations. They're typically early morning events, so those of us arriving from 7:30-9 a.m. have to wade through a lobby full of people getting their nametags and noshing on the muffins and Danish wheeled up by the Sodexho staff.
ReplyDeleteKeep in mind that most Gannettoids have never even visited the Palace, so this is news to a lot of folks.
ReplyDeleteAny outside group that wanted to use the facility once had to have a staffer as a member and get approval by a GMC member. But to "create a new revenue stream" those rules were eased. The conference facilities may seem overmuch but were designed when it was common to have sales reps, editors, circ directors, etc., converge for annual meetings or training. Groups of 100-200 were common.
ReplyDeleteWe are also renting parking deck spaces to Freddie Mac, which has a building next door and can't seem to hire fast enough as it burns through your bailout bucks.
The conference center area was way too extreme when GCI built Crystal Palace. Now they're desperate, yet they still can't spend money to replace burned out lightbulbs.
ReplyDeleteThe big winner in this is Sodexho catering. Due to the frequent leasing of conference space and the rental of CP floors to Booz and SSA, the cafeteria has never been busier. Now you have to get down there before noon or the sushi runs out.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately, the Crystal Palace hallway and auditorium isn't big enough to hold a central meeting for all the vice presidents Hunke & Co. hired recently to expertly oversee the transformation of USA Today. I guess its the Ritz Carlton for them. How fitting.
ReplyDeleteThe Crystal Palace is probably more suitable for weddings than the newspaper/media biz. What a lavish insult that place is, and probably part of the reason why so many Gannettoids have been laid off, particularly ones over 50 who tend to make the most money. Boy, what a time to be out of work and over a certain age. But that's ok, the people in the Crystal Palace are happy with their digs and don't seem to think twice about the thousands of loyal employees they abandoned, some who may never recover.
ReplyDeleteNo weddings because someone opened a wrong valve to the khoi pond over a weekend several years ago, which killed all the fish. Like they do with employees canned, Gannett brass didn't replace the killed fish.
ReplyDeleteBridal parties what them Khoi for photos. No fish, no weddings.
I have many memories of the associations in front of the Gannett Auditorium at 9 am, blocking the employees from going to the elevators. I miss the Daily Item, the long morning lines and expensive, tall Kona coffees. Anyone remember businessman Magic Johnson, buddy of Craig Moon, showing up at a USA Today All Hands meeting?
ReplyDeleteAre the Daily Item, Healthworks, and nurse's office still open - or were they closed - in Crystal Palace?
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ReplyDeleteI never did like that Crystal Palace. It felt like being in a large airport. The free parking was a good change, but what a completely grueling area to drive through. Who in the heck decided that would be a good location for employees? So the Curley brothers -- did they build there because it was their stomping grounds?
ReplyDelete8:14,
ReplyDeleteGreat point. Been wondering the same thing.
Jim - how about digging into why no one has heard from Hunke's veeps since his Berlin Wall speech nearly 3 months ago. In fact, has anyone heard from Hunke?
Given the decimated population of the second-floor newsroom at my paper, we could easily rent the space out for a Taco Bell or something.
ReplyDelete10:55pm: 75% of the top brass who made the decision to move from Rosslyn to Tysons, who are now gone, lived in that neighborhood and didn't give a damn about the rest of the employees. They claimed that the majority of employees lived in that area, and their attitude was that Tysons was the greatest and only place in the area to build headquarters. They sure had their asses in their elbows when that decision was made.
ReplyDelete