Saturday, November 06, 2010

Memogate | 23 words that mean, 'You're laid off'

The reorganization of Gannett's far-flung human resources departments inched forward yesterday, as HR chief Roxanne Horning hit the send button on another memo larded with business speak.

Horning
When we last heard from her, in an August memo, she had just revealed that another consolidation meant fewer HR employees would soon be shouldering even more work.

Only, here's what Horning wrote:

"The purpose of the reorganization is to realign the company-wide HR function into a unified one across all divisions to support Gannett’s strategic plan, serve as a business partner and consultant to our senior leaders and managers in such critical areas as organizational effectiveness, talent management, recruiting and employee development and retention."

In yesterday's memo, Horning gave a progress report to the many current HR employees who applied for the shrunken pool of new jobs. By the end of next week, she told the "Gannett Human Resources Community," some applicants will have a job.

And the rest? "Those not selected to fill one of the open positions will also receive notice of their final date of employment at that time."

I think that means they get laid off.

Earlier: meet your new 21st century HR function

Got an out-of-the-box, synergistic, win-win memo? Please post your replies in the comments section, below. To e-mail confidentially, write jimhopkins[at]gmail[dot-com]; see Tipsters Anonymous Policy in the rail, upper right.

19 comments:

  1. I suspect Horning will be getting an award at year's end for this gibberish. Get ready for newly created directors of employee engagement at every information center. qualifications: it helps to be an administrative assistant to the publisher. Like at Usa Today.

    By the way, Jim, check how many stock options Horning has managed to squirrel away and cash in like chestnuts every year. Exactly for what?

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  2. A lawyer must have written that crap.

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  3. The inhumanity is staggering. And depressing.

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  4. Perhaps Martore could take that memo to her Dalai Lama Center at MIT and get some feeback on its degree of humaneness and transformative value.

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  5. I was blown away by the info about Martore being a director of that MIT center. What a joke! All she cares about is her fat retirement account, her lifetime bennies and her bonuses for saving money by laying off people.

    There must be someone out there who lives the life and should be serving on the board. I wonder if Martore plans to direct any foundation cash to the center. That'll get her a nice bronze plaque on campus!

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  6. When does that board meet and how does she have time to go to the meetings I wonder when she has so much to do on her real job at Gannett?

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  7. Interesting, but not surprising. And not unusual. It's pretty much the same everywhere in corporate America today. Once upon a time, there was a thing called the "Personnel Department." If you are of a certain age you may remember this. Then--I'm not sure when, but I think it started in the mid or late 1970s--Personnel Departments started being replaced by "Human Resources Departments."

    What's in a name? Well, maybe nothing. But, in my working experience, the change in demeanor of these departments towards employees exactly parallels this name change. Now, only a fool ever truly believed that the folks within these departments were there for employees. They were (and are) there for the benefit of management. But back when they were called Personnel Departments they at least pretended that they were there to help you and, sometimes, by God they actually did help you. Today, they will give you a phone number to call or a website to visit, and you're on your own.

    When is the last time you ever truly got helped (in a less than cursory way) by a functionary in a Human Resources Department? Uh huh. That being the case, why not cut them? The website where you handle your insurance and retirement stuff at least don't make you feel like a bother for logging in.

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  8. No one wants to see anyone lose a job, but I must say that if other so-called "human resource" depts operate like they do in Westchester, well, no one's going to notice the loss.

    Getting assistance or any kind of info can be like pulling teeth, unless of course you're looking for sales coupons at the Galleria or looking for discounted movie tickets. Supplying these things seem to be HR's main function.

    It wasn't always this way, and the change wasn't overnight. I recall having a medical benefits issue some years back and the VP there straighted it out with one phone call to the billing company. Of course the VP was cut along with a bunch of others a couple of years ago.

    Those days are gone. It also cracks me up that these "human resource" depts have named people as recruitment managers or such such thing.

    Recruiting? What the heck for? Are there plans to fill the mostly empty concrete tomb that is the Westchester site?

    Are they actually able to trick people into thinking that they may have a stable job situation there?

    As far as I can see, eliminating that HR office along with a few of the top paper pushers in editorial/administration wouldn't alter the product or the workers' situation one bit.

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  9. Check the full letter and you'll read this: "We will provide transitional pay
    through our Transitional Pay Program (TPP)."

    Believe you me: The HR folks know all too well that TPP is a weak substitute for the traditional severance pay given in other industries.

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  10. Gannett was not the first to have TPP, it has been around since the 1960s and is in use at many companies, according to a Google search. It's called something else, but the same thing. Subplan or something. But in any event, it's not like it isn't found anywhere.

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  11. the HR manager in Poughkeepsie has answered my questions, and helped me.

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  12. At least there is some sense of finality in Horning's note. It's better than this death by a thousand paper cuts thing that's going on at the other Gannett sites right now.

    Who writes their memos? They're dreadful. It's not English, it's some bureaucratic bastardization of English.

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  13. I can echo the sentiment in 10:02 AND 10:34. Our HR person is infamous for directing people to a website, when pressed for answers. That job could be outsourced to someone at the Crystal Palace (or Bangalore, India), and no one would notice.
    And the HR assistant''s job? Updating the online in-house newsletter, and giving out free tickets to all the stupid events we sponsor.

    Going off on that tangent, I bet our paper spends $30-60K/year on local charity causes and benefits. Such as buying a table at an event dinner, which can run $1K+ easily.
    Our top brass' cause célèbre? United Way. Any time they pass gas, we cover it on one of the section fronts. Really, who cares? It's NOT news. Do they think the less people get paid, and the more the cost of living goes up, that people will give more to charities if we throw it in their face constantly?

    If the other 79 USCP papers do this too, using my estimate as an average, that could amount to a $4-5M savings. Not to mention the ancillary expenditures.

    Locally, that money would be better spent on covering all the local high school sports we've dropped.
    Now THAT would draw subscribers.
    But then, the marketing person and friends wouldn't be eating all those "free" charity-event catered dinners.

    Work verification: ducks! Hah!

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  14. I had one encounter with HR, and that was my new hire orientation. I was so very impressed when the presenter explained sick days by saying supervisors had no business asking the nature of the illness. She told us that if they did, just to say, "I'm taking a sick day today."

    Well, imagine my disgust when not long after that, my supervisor asked me to fill in for someone who had a UTI! Next, the EE sent an illness progress email to us, giving details about an employee's hospitalization, diagnosis, prognosis, etc. Disgusting stuff, but I think HR did its job. Management failed.

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  19. I am 4 weeks into my 11 weeks a TTP. At 56 years old and basically having worked in the newspaper industry for 31 years, I cannot compete with 30 year old MBA's. Sadly, I would have taken a lesser position and cut in pay if it had been offered to me by USAT, but they didn't offer.

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