Friday, April 17, 2009

McPoetry | Goodnight, Moon

A reader who asks to remain anonymous sent me the following in an e-mail, with gratitude and apologies to M. Wise Brown. "A tear forms,'' our snarky versifier writes. "The day has arrived. After countless years of service -- including several to his employees -- USA Today publisher Craig Moon departs us, lo this April day."


In the great empty McLean building
there was a telephone . . .
and 8,700 pink slips . . .
and a picture of . . .

A golden parachute flapping over Craig Moon

And there were millions in stocks . . . Now worth pairs of socks
And 10 moral defectors . . . sorry, board of directors
And bonuses in cash . . . And jobs in the trash

And pensions worth squat and papers full of mush . . . And a spokeswoman wishing Jim Hopkins would hush

Goodnight loon . . . Goodnight, Craig Moon
Goodnight golden parachute covering that goon

Goodnight faux "diversity" . . . and Goodnight "mainstream" perversity
Goodnight retirement . . . and Goodnight acquirement

Goodbye salary but hello furlough . . . who knew our copy could ever sink this low?

Goodbye careers killed, to give Dubow millions
Goodbye newsrooms, stripped like wax Brazilians

Goodbye police scanners . . . and Goodbye deadline rushes
Goodbye nut-job sports guys . . . and copy-desk lushes

Goodnight accurate

Goodnight fair

Goodnight newspapers everywhere

Please post your poems in the comments section, below. To e-mail confidentially, write gannettblog[at]gmail[dot-com]; see Tipsters Anonymous Policy in the green rail, upper right.

24 comments:

  1. You suck, Jim, and you need to be stopped with whatever means possible.

    Stop Jim. Today.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ahhhh, management comes out of the bushes. Why, don't like the subject? LOL

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  3. As a journalist still employed in the newspaper business, I take great offense at this "poem." I am sorry people have lost their jobs. I could lose mine tomorrow.

    But to make the claim that good journalism is no longer being done; or that accuracy and fairness are no longer possible are outrageous and demeaning to YOUR former co-workers who are still fighting in the trenches to report the news in print and online and in broadcast.

    Frankly, Jim, I am surprised you gave this poem such prominent play. You continue to show your true colors when you do this stuff.

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  4. And there were millions in stocks . . . Now worth pairs of socks
    And ten moral defectors . . . sorry, board of directors
    And bonuses in cash . . . And jobs in the trash

    And pensions worth squat and papers full of mush . . . And a spokeswoman wishing Jim Hopkins would hush

    Wow, I don't know, but isn't this the truth?

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  5. Copy-desk lushes?!
    Spot on.

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  6. 'wax Brazilians.' Sweet.

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  7. It's quite obvious that the more Jim reports on what "other posters" write, or reveals that the corporate CEO Emporer or any of his minions is indeed naked, the more attacks and abuse Jim gets.
    ____________________________

    You suck, Jim, and you need to be stopped with whatever means possible.

    Stop Jim. Today.

    4/17/2009 11:09 AM
    _____________________________

    Competition getting too hot for you 11:09?

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  8. "8,700 pink slips . . .and a picture of . . . A golden parachute flapping over Craig Moon"

    Ouch! They say the truth will set you free...but first it will piss you off.

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  9. Dr. Suess would be proud.

    Verification: OBITai

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  10. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  11. Hey 1:21 - 1:06 here. I AM a journalist. Be careful not to let your opinion show too much or be too judgmental. Besides, how do you know what I meant by my comment? Could it possibly be satire? NAAAH! Oops, guess that would make me a COLUMNIST, huh?

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  12. 1:21 p.m. a journalist who would copy the misspelling of someone's name?

    It's Dr. Seuss.

    Sheesh.

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  13. @1:06 It's not very Seussian. But Margaret Wise Brown, author of "Goodnight Moon,"might be proud.

    (Journalist at work.)

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  14. 11:27- Oh, shut up. This poem, and I'm sure you'll forgive my exuberant lack of eloquence, is freaking awesome. You know it, too. That's why you're pissed- because you never could have managed to rhyme "diversity" and "perversity."

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  15. Wow, what a lot of ass-kissers moaning about Moon. Well, this one isn't swooning. I am celebrating. Good riddance. He was bad news. Glad to see he is gone. And, yes, it is a very good effort at poetry.

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  16. 11:09: Still standin up for that Freedom of Speech, huh?

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  17. Hi y'all,

    Don't mean to interrupt the little Algonquin Round Table we've got going here, but we did all see this, right?:

    "You suck, Jim, and you need to be stopped with whatever means possible.
    Stop Jim. Today."
    4/17/2009 11:09 AM

    And the shareholders' meeting -- potentially one of the most excruciating in Gannett history, thanks largely to Jim's blog -- is 13 days away?

    Yeah.

    Don't know where that came from, but that's got to constitute at least Harassment nomatter where you are.

    Legal beagles out there -- thoughts?

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  18. thanks! that was fun to read.

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  19. Thursday, April 30 is Poem In Your Pocket day. This would be a dandy poem to carry with you.

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  20. Where else would we be regaled with poetry, veiled threats, journalistic cleverness and dreadful bores in just ONE blog thread.
    Sickem.

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  21. "You suck, Jim, and you need to be stopped with whatever means possible.

    Stop Jim. Today."

    What are you afraid of? Why does anyone have the right to stop this free speech exercise.

    This Gannett Blog is a wake up call to upper management of how we in the trenches have felt for a very, very, very long time.

    If this blog wasn't a dental pick poking in to the decay of Gannett, then this blog would be ignored.

    I for one call on the Freedom Forum to come to the aid of Jim. They should pony up some dough to support this blog for it is the very symbol of freedom of speech. Grin.

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  22. Jim is the Fox News of the blog world. You know what I mean.

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  23. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  24. Perhaps Ben Folds would be a good song right now?

    "Fred Jones Pt. 2"

    Fred sits alone at his desk in the dark
    There's an awkward young shadow that waits in the hall
    He's cleared all his things and he's put them in boxes
    Things that remind him: 'Life has been good'

    Twenty-five years
    He's worked at the paper
    A man's here to take him downstairs
    And I'm sorry, Mr. Jones
    It's time

    There was no party, there were no songs
    'Cause today's just a day like the day that he started
    Noone is left here that knows his first name
    And life barrels on like a runaway train
    Where the passengers change
    They don't change anything
    You get off; someone else can get on

    And I'm sorry, Mr. Jones
    It's time

    Streetlight shines through the shades
    Casting lines on the floor, and lines on his face
    He reflects on the day

    Fred gets his paints out and goes to the basement
    Projecting some slides onto a plain white
    Canvas and traces it
    Fills in the spaces
    He turns off the slides, and it doesn't look right
    Yeah, and all of these bastards
    Have taken his place
    He's forgotten but not yet gone

    And I'm sorry, Mr. Jones
    And I'm sorry, Mr. Jones
    And I'm sorry, Mr. Jones
    It's time

    ReplyDelete

Jim says: "Proceed with caution; this is a free-for-all comment zone. I try to correct or clarify incorrect information. But I can't catch everything. Please keep your posts focused on Gannett and media-related subjects. Note that I occasionally review comments in advance, to reject inappropriate ones. And I ignore hostile posters, and recommend you do, too."

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