USAT: Guarding 1st Amendment rights to 'Man Dip'

"How can Man Dip compete against Meatballs? The Man Dip looks like what the Meatballs would look like after you eat them. And that's just gross."

-- USA Today online reader Talltxflyboy, regarding the upset victory of the Man Dip recipe by Erik Almquist of Bourbonnais, Ill., who captured a stunning 56% of the paper's online votes over Best Sweet and Sour Meatballs Ever, by Candice Milnikel-Stude of Fort Collins, Colo.

That nail-biter came in Food Network star Rachel Ray's March Menu Mania, a home-cooked recipe contest sponsored by Gannett's flagship newspaper. Today is Round Three, and readers are voting now.

Sadly, Man Dip-maker Almquist didn't savor victory long. Tragedy struck in Round Two, when he lost to an upstart platter of Pork Taquitos (as if!) by Angela Hayes of Saginaw, Mich. Now, behold:

[If you dare: Click image, for bigger, cook-able view]

A real Gannett cheapstakes!
No one ever reads the fine print in a 2,084-word set of sweepstakes rules -- except bloggers! That's how I learned that cooks competing for the grand prize, $5,000 worth of groceries, will get flown to New York City around April 1, to tape the Rachel Ray Show grand finale.

I've highlighted the offending Gannett-like passages in the rules posted online. Note that "sponsor'' means USA Today:

• Each of the two Finalists will be provided roundtrip coach airfare to attend the Taping (between the major continental U.S. airport nearest Finalist’s residence and New York City) and (1) night double occupancy hotel accommodations for the night before the Taping, as well as transportation between the airport and the Taping at the expense of the Rachael Ray show. (Costs of meals, other ground transportation, gratuities, taxes, incidental expenses, and all other expenses not specified above are the sole responsibility of each Finalist.)
• The two Finalists will be notified on or about March 28, 2009 at the telephone number provided on their entry forms. Sponsor and Rachael Ray staff will call during regular business hours at the number provided on entry form and will leave no messages. Failure to reach Finalist by phone, after three (3) attempts, may result in disqualification of Finalist, forfeiture of his or her interest in all prizes, and selection of a substitute Finalist from among all remaining eligible entries.
  
• Finalists and Grand Prize Winners are solely responsible for reporting and payment of any taxes on any prizes.
  
• Except where prohibited, entry in the contest constitutes each contestant’s consent to the publication of his or her name, biographical information and likeness in any media for any commercial or promotional purpose, without limitation the Internet, or further compensation.
  
• Each contestant further agrees that if his/her entry is selected by Sponsor and Rachael Ray as the winning entry, he/she will sign any additional license or release that Sponsor and Rachael Ray may require, and will not publicly perform or display his or her submission without the express permission of Sponsor.
  

That last rule is the worst. It could require the winner to sign away their free-speech rights to ever again make Aunt Marcelline's world-famous Cherry-Coke Jello Mold!

[Ooops! "try, he/she will sign any ad"]

Proofreader on furlough?
Plus, it's a good thing the contest rules say, "Sponsor will not be responsible for typographical, printing or other inadvertent errors in these Official Rules or in other materials relating to the Contest." That's a big, old typo right there, isn't it?

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