[Martore, Burns]
To: G. Martore, chief financial officer
FROM: C. Montgomery Burns, loyal employee
DATE: March 12, 2009
RE: Project "Piddly Tender Offer"
Our octogenarian operative BA of Cocoa Beach, Fla., confirms that Hopkins's dastardly Gannett employee takeover scheme could work!
Step 1
Hopkins persuades each of Gannett's 41,500 employees to donate $6,025 a piece to the newly established Gannett Blog Venture Capital Fund.
Managing partners for this 501(c)(3) fund: Thurston J. and Eunice "Lovey" Wentworth Howell III of Cashiers, N.C., and Cocoa Beach. (Caught, left, in our super-secret spy satellite image.) Amount to be raised: $250 million.Step 2
Upon their orders, employees each seek $6,025 in matching grants for their Gannett Blog fund donations, from the Gannett Foundation under the GannettMatch program. Amount to be raised: $250 million.
Step 3
Gannett Blog fund makes $500 million all-cash tender offer for all of Gannett Co. Inc. At $2.19 a share, plus assumption of debt, that would represent a 10% premium to yesterday's closing price.
Conclusion, madame CFO: We're cooked.
Speaking of fundraising!
With less than three weeks to go, I've raised just $2,961 -- barely half my $6,000 quarterly goal. Underscoring the importance of reader donations, ad sales have fallen to just 14% of my income vs. 24% in the previous quarter. The current breakdown:
- Advertising: $418
- Sponsorships: $2,543
I'm trying to earn $6,000 quarterly, mostly through sponsorships of $5 per reader, plus limited ad sales. Please use the "Donate" tool in the green sidebar, upper right. Or mail cash/checks payable to: Jim Hopkins, 584 Castro St. #823, San Francisco, Calif., 94114-2594.
Great idea, but the debt load is WAY too high. Of course an employee-owned company could make many quick inroads an eliminating such debt: no more dividend payments, no fat golden parachutes, etc. I suspect that the brass at Gannett would not permit employee contributions to such a charitable arm. In crazy times, it really gives people a good sense of their "leaders." Craig DuNothing should be the guy suggesting this idea. It would save his job a little longer. He has adopted the typical "head in the sand" approach of most Gannett managers.
ReplyDeleteSay what you will about Alan Neuharth, but I suspect if he were in charge right now he'd probably entertain such an option as the one Jim has entertained. I think they should bring "Big Al" back to make the company a nonprofit. Then he would have three legacies: USAToday, Freedom Forum's Nuseum and the nonprofit newspaper chain.
What a stupid pipe dream!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you helots don't have control of Gannett!
You forgot one part, Jimbo:
ReplyDeletePull a Zell and declare BK, so the debt is wiped clean.
Then reorganize.
Better than a slow bleed for the few of us left on the ghost ship.
2:10 a.m. here: It's not a pipe dream. I'm no longer with Gannett; have moved on. But I think the idea has some legs from a business perspective. Of course there is the issue of that massive debt. Who would want to take it on, especially in this economy?
ReplyDeleteSome form of employee owned and/or nonprofit organization is probably the only way to save this public trust. Corporations have been bad owners of newspapers.
Jim is able to raise less than $3,000 for this web site - including selling less than $1,000 in advertising. Yet he thinks he could turn around Gannett.
ReplyDeleteMessage to the whiners on the editorial side: Making money online is tough, especially in this economy. Maybe Gannett is having a hard time not because it is run by idiots, but because every media company is having a hard time.
Jim probably now understands this better than most of you.
Um, yeah. I think the irony of this post got lost by the last poster. I think Jim was attempting to make an ironic point about the market cap of gannett. Does anyone really think he wants to lord over the company like Big Al. Uh, no.
ReplyDeleteThank you, 1:05 pm, for restoring us to reality!
ReplyDeleteNot to say Jim should or would have any desire to head up a NewsMedia Chain, but I think that taking the largest Media chain and converting it to a non-profit org could pave the way for a reformation of the industry and to lead the path back to open and unbiased journalism.
ReplyDeleteAdvitorials would be dead, investigative stories the norm, and the daily obits and community happenings would bring advertisers back begging to place ad space.
Just a thought from a former Gannett worker bee.
Don't throw your money away by sending it to Jim.
ReplyDeleteBe smart. Times are tough. Don't support insane people like Jim Hopkins.