Friday, January 16, 2009

This column cost stockholders $1,923.07. (Again)

Like rubbernecking past a car wreck, I can't resist octogenarian retired CEO Al Neuharth's weekly column, every Friday in USA Today.

As soon as I saw the headline, referencing Depression-era President Franklin Roosevelt, I knew we were in for another episode of Little House on the South Dakota Prairie. And the man did not disappoint:

"For FDR's inaugural address,'' Neuharth, 84, writes today, "my widowed and worried mother gathered my older brother, Walter (then 16), and me (then 9) around the family's only radio in Dust-Bowl depressed South Dakota. I've never forgotten his reassurances and her reaction. She went to work at her $1-a-day job washing dishes at the local cafe, hoping and expecting things would get better. They did, albeit slowly."

Speaking of dollars-per-something!
We have here exactly 399 words, according to Google Documents. That's measured from the "C" of the headline's first word, to the "N" of the very last word in the "other views" section. (I'm trying to be kind.)

As we now know, Gannett pays the retired chairman and CEO $100,000 a year for life, under a 1989 contract, where he agreed to serve as a "consultant and advisor, and as a columnist or commentator, for the remainder of his life.'' (Emphasis added. Also, to be clear: "remainder of his life" means forever, and ever and ever. It is a remarkably long time.)

Assuming he fulfills those duties with columns, we arrive at the following formula: $100,000/52 columns. Or, in Plain Talk, shareholders are paying Neuharth an average $1,923.07 per column. (Attention laid-off reporters, hoping to become well-paid freelancers: This particular one clocked in at an average $4.82 per word.)

8 comments:

  1. Is it mean to hope he dies soon?

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  2. Jim, you forgot to mention, that in Al's contract, to write his column, their is a stimulus that he can't be fired!

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  3. Since he seems to rehash the same folksy anecdotes over and over, do you think we can get a discount since they obviously are not original writings?

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  4. Have a wonderful inauguration, Mr. Neuharth. Will you be "working" at the Freedom Forum for the festivities or will you be "working" your Gannett column gig that day?

    Have to respectfully disagree with you on what you wrote. Actions speak louder than words in today's technologically advanced world. People now have the ability to individually fact check to make sure a person's actions match their words. So, matching actions to words is extremely important for the credibility of any leader, I think.

    If our new president tells us that all is well, the words won't fly with all the laid off workers who have the ability now to research for themselves things like their former employer's profits, executive pay packages and current job openings.

    Actions, my friend, speak louder than words.

    If you don't get what I'm saying, let me personalize it in a way you might understand. What if your mom's employer turned a profit, but the owner had kept that $1 an hour pay and laid your mother off?

    I've got to guess that her hopefulness rested in going to work every day and earning that paycheck more than it did listening to the words of any leader. Could be wrong, but I doubt that's the case.

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  5. I think the math is off a little Jim. That doesn't include the grant money that has gone to the Florida adoption organization that pays Big Al's current spouse does it?

    thanks

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  6. I got 299 words, according to my text software's word count. Which makes the $/word even more insane.

    Surely he'll have to be furloughed for a week. Right? Or is he exempt because he's not technically an employee?

    I feel ill.

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  7. Al's CENSOR ME. Yes, When i reply to Al online column. I ask him about his hundred thousand's, a year contract to write his set of words> Pointed out that, I bet his mom worked harder, for her dollar, then he did for 1.923.07(without taking two weeks, off for a vacation.) USA TODAY KILLED MY SETS OF WORDS. Gee I wonder if Gannettblogsucks people know about this!

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  8. 4:47 AM
    Yes. I think that is mean.

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Jim says: "Proceed with caution; this is a free-for-all comment zone. I try to correct or clarify incorrect information. But I can't catch everything. Please keep your posts focused on Gannett and media-related subjects. Note that I occasionally review comments in advance, to reject inappropriate ones. And I ignore hostile posters, and recommend you do, too."

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